Technology is growing at an exponential rate. When I was ten, I only knew one person who owned a cell phone, and that person was Zach Morris. Flash forward 18 years later and you can hold your cell phone up to a song that’s playing, and it’ll tell you what song it is. So what does this mean? Well, it means only one thing, there’s a 99% chance your grandson is going to f*&k a robot. Let me explain.
See, evolutionarily speaking, man's number one directive is to put his penis inside a desirable vagina. But, unfortunately, the people that own vaginas (women) have a directive that says: "Only allow penises that belong to men that can keep you safe and provide for you, inside your vagina." This creates a problem, because most penises do not have those types of men attached to them. So, a while ago, some of those men decided, "I have to find another way to trick the penis into thinking that I've found a desirable vagina to stick it in to." And thus, porno was born. And as porno grew, so did technology. There are latex molds of asses and vaginas now. There are videos shot from a male POV. You name it, porn is trying it. And as technology grows and becomes readily available, porn will use that technology to create more life-like products. Which means only one thing: Robots that will f*&k you. Let me explain.
See, we figure at some point, we're going to get the hang of robots. Right now robots are really crappy and everybody goes apeshit when a robot can pick up a quarter, or walk up a flight of stairs. But it's 2009. And if, in twenty years, we can go from one of those giant Zach Morris phones to an iphone, then in 80 years, there's no way we're not going to be able to go from robots that can walk up stairs to robots that look and act like people. If you don't believe me, watch Terminator's 1 and 2, and if you hate yourself, 3. I trust James Cameron.
At first, we'll have these life-like robots, that look and act like real people, and they'll be used to help out around the house, or watch your grandparents. People will think it's creepy, but they won't be able to deny the usefulness of the robot. And then one day someone will f&*k one of the robots. The guy that does it will probably look like this guy:
Everyone will be like "ew, gross." Then slowly, news stories will leak out, of more and more people f&*king their robots. And suddenly, it won't be that weird to have sex with your robot. And when that happens, the porn industry, which will have already been working on a f*&k robot, will unveil one. And it will become so successful, that larger, more mainstream companies will start making them, too. Playstation will come out with one, and it'll look really good, but it'll give weird hand jobs, or won't do anal. Then Microsoft will come out with one and it'll do everything, but they'll have released it before they tested all the bugs and it'll rip someone's penis off by accident. If you don't believe this is going to happen, I have two words for you: Japanese Dudes. Let me explain.
Japan leads the world in technology. It also happens to lead the world in weird f*&king. Those two things have not, and will never, be mutually exclusive. In fact, Japan is already working on this shit: It's very creepy right now, sure, but imagine 80 years from now, when it's totally awesome (i.e. hot.)
So, we thought about it, and we figure that right around 2060 you should be able to buy a robot you can f*&k pretty much anywhere. But they'll be expensive and won't work that well. Which means that about 2080, they're going to work really well, and you'll be able buy them anywhere. So, say you're around 30 right now. You have a kid in the next ten years. That puts us at 2020. Then your kid, has his own kid at around 2050. That means at 2080, your grand kid will be 30, and he'll be f*&king a robot. Just in case you got tired of reading this article and decided to skim it, we've summarized it all in one easy-on-the-eyes graph:
Fuck man.. I might be alive for the 2060 robots but I'll be pushing 100 for the 2080 ones.. Japan needs to get off there asses and hurry up with this shit
(33 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
March 2nd, 2009 at 07:19 pm
Its tough to know for sure if any of my potential grandkids will fuck a robot, but an 80-year-old me sure will
September 14th, 2009 at 03:15 pm
So let me get this straight... when your eighty your gonna fuck your grandkids?
March 2nd, 2009 at 07:20 pm
Fuck man.. I might be alive for the 2060 robots but I'll be pushing 100 for the 2080 ones.. Japan needs to get off there asses and hurry up with this shit
March 2nd, 2009 at 07:39 pm
Just like Paul, I'll be pushing over 100 in 2080. Now I feel depressed.
March 4th, 2009 at 08:57 am
By that time we might also have robotic dicks and other body parts that help us to sustain life so you might still be around bro don't fret.
March 2nd, 2009 at 08:49 pm
bull shit. like anyone 30 years old reads this site.
March 4th, 2009 at 05:23 pm
I'm 29 and I'm better than you in every way.
Now go fuck yourself
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Great research. A for effort and also for creepiness.
March 3rd, 2009 at 12:07 am
funny but tragic. Now Im all depresed because I wont get to see all that stuff.
March 3rd, 2009 at 02:54 am
i dn't feel depresed cos i am 5 years old. i want gurls. lots of cute gurls in the future.
March 3rd, 2009 at 02:53 am
I HOPE IM STILL AROUND WHEN THIS HAPPENS MMMMM I WANNA GET ME SOME OF THAT!
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:02 am
woww added on with the crisis that there are not gonna be many men in the future... o___O its the end of the world!! OMFG SHIITT
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:05 am
wow Stanley, we're gonna have some metal pussy in the future?
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:09 am
no no. i think its mor lyk rubber/silicon pussys! i love those!! =]
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:15 am
HAHA COOL. BUT I PREFER HARD METAL WITH ELECTRICITY INSIDE IT. Even though we're bro's, we have different tastes
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:31 am
NOOO SILICON IS SOO MUCH BTR!! =[ i mean. it feels good! much better than getting it stuck. you kno what i mean!
i dont like you!! eat some cow poo!!
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:32 am
LOL at stanley + stanley's lil brother
:DDD
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:34 am
STUPID OLDER BROTHERS THESE DAYS. I hope you change your mind in the future when it actually happens.
March 3rd, 2009 at 03:36 am
omee gohh! i love this sitee!! bbut i dont want robotss!! i want guys to f*&k me! right where i like it plss!!
March 3rd, 2009 at 05:18 am
They already exist my brothers. And they will only get better with time.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1361247.html
March 3rd, 2009 at 06:32 am
I have a 4 year old and I am 24, that means my son might be a senile old fuck and bang one of these robots.
And Hey! Terminator 3 looks bad ass!
March 3rd, 2009 at 06:44 am
I fuck robots already!
March 3rd, 2009 at 08:32 am
I'd still wear a rubber though. You never know if that robot bitch be sleepin around!
March 3rd, 2009 at 10:36 am
So by f*cking my toaster I am considered a pioneer?
March 3rd, 2009 at 02:24 pm
HAHA, the creepy old guy is Will Oldham, Cred-worthy as fuck in the lo-fi genré
March 4th, 2009 at 02:17 am
Will Mac take the next step and combine your f*k robot and computer? Where would you type?
March 4th, 2009 at 05:29 am
Just wanted to let Greg know I'm 32 and read this site. Oh, and my dad reads it too...he's 62.
I hope Japan makes a F&*k robot that looks like some of those anime bitches. Oooo...with kung fu action.
March 4th, 2009 at 09:19 am
Wow, is that funny!
March 4th, 2009 at 09:45 am
That is super insightful!
March 6th, 2009 at 08:04 pm
Only if it can be programed not to talk after blowing my load.
March 16th, 2009 at 08:09 pm
with apple's sex bot you'll be able to download apps, such as anal, swallow, fetishes, and even deification.
March 18th, 2009 at 09:54 am
realtouch.com The future is now!!!!!!
May 10th, 2009 at 09:45 am
Haha more like when Microsoft makes one it will crash all the time due to it using Windows lmao
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