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Your St. Patrick’s Day Schedule

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, and if you’re wondering what to do on a St. Patrick’s Day that falls on a Wednesday, we’ve worked up a schedule for you:

29 Responses to "Your St. Patrick’s Day Schedule"

  1. Urethra Franklin says:

    ummm i have never done this before, and seeing how i finally have the opportunity im gonna go for it. dont hate me



    ohhh man that felt good… does that make me an asshole?

  2. CaptainAwesome says:

    That doesn’t make you an asshole. Pushing little kids off the high levels of the play structure at the park makes you an asshole.

  3. again? says:

    It makes you a funny asshole.

  4. twointhepink says:

    It just makes you funny

  5. potato butt says:

    Huff paint green = http://bit.ly/a3S4sb

  6. Anonymussy. says:

    ^ French

  7. DonkeyXote says:

    You forgot:

    Put on Orange Shirt and run through an Irish pub screaming “God Save the Queen!”.

    What do you Mick fuckwits have to say about that!


  8. DonkeyXoteâ„¢ says:

    You must have fucked a whole lotta Frenchmen to know that, eh?

    Cross-dressing little homo-bitch!

  9. KnuckleDragger says:

    You know, I was gonna say something cruel/witty to make fun of you heritage, but I realized that no matter what you do, you will have to live with that fact that you are nothing but a Limey-ass Brit. That’s punishment enough, for your above statement. P.S. – Fuck your Queen.

  10. Anonymussy. says:

    Donkey clearly has to be Frech. Being a fag from France should have been the first guess.

  11. DonkeyXoteâ„¢ says:

    Ahhh you replied yourself to flame me.


    Thing is………….

    I’m not Brirtish!

    JoKe’S on YOU BeEe-otch!

  12. DonkeyXoteâ„¢ says:

    Oh Yeah. Fuck the Queen, and FUCK YOU!!!!

  13. Anonymousy says:

    It is not Wednesday yet here in the US, you Eurotrashes!

  14. EuroTrash says:

    Have a cry little bitch, why don’tcha?

    Go away Donkey! Noone here likes you!!! wahhh wahhh wahhhhhh


  15. *insert witty name* says:

    Search up pictures of Georgina Salpa, Rosanna Davidson and Glenda Gilson. The pictures will speak for themselves.

    But as an actaul Irish guy, i have to point out that the schedule is missing the part about starting a fight with someone that has a British accent. That’s a big part of the day: Showing the British that our holiday is better than theirs

  16. pratik says:

    The British have a holiday?

  17. Brittie "The Oppresor of Curry Munchers" says:

    No we don’t, we’re too busy working on the world’s strongest currency to be wasting our time celebrating every forthnight a holiday like you fuckas do in India.

    Mighty Punjabi save the Cows and the Goats!

  18. KnuckleDragger says:

    You mean, Brits were too busy murdering, raping and enslaving all the other countries in their “Empire”? I think that was what you meant.

  19. Paddy O'Mick says:

    Forgot to add the part about coming onto gross irish chick. Has anyone ever seen a hot one?

  20. New Guy says:

    I may be accused of stealing Scotts’ quotes,but…St. Patty’s day is as close as the Irish will get to Christmas(I declare):D

  21. Just an eijet says:

    When will you eijets learn that it’s St-Patrick’s Day or for short St-Paddy’s Day…Patty is a girl’s name and Paddy is a boy’s name…fooking eijets!

  22. Just an eijet says:

    Oh, and your corned beef and cabbage is an American thing, not Irish…fooking eijets! A chip bunty…that’s Irish…

  23. Disappointed Irishman says:

    Paddy isn’t really a name, even Patrick is anglicized.

    Also it’s “Eejit” or “Ejit” – pronounced ee-jit.

    There is no such thing as a “Chip bunty” – as far as I’m aware at least. I’m born and raised in Ireland, even spent a few years north of the border, and never heard of one.

    What you probably meant is a “chip butty” – which is basically a serving of chips/thickcut-fries in a burger bun, generally plastered in salt and vinegar.

    Also, we tend to hate people who think they’re Irish but were never born here. It’s tragic that people need to grasp onto other cultures instead of embracing their own.

    Fake-Irish are like “Wiggers” to African Americans. Middle class white kids wearing baggy pants, talking like Snoop and claiming they’re from the street while posting myspace pictures of themselves holding up an N.W.A. cd and a wad of ones. It’s an unfunny joke, constantly repeated.

    We don’t say “fook” or anything that even sounds like it phonetically. We do say “Fuck” and “Feck” both are different words, not different pronunciations. They do however mean the same thing, “Feck” is just considered lass crude.

  24. DonkeyXote says:

    Diddly Potatoes!!

  25. Lou Woods says:

    Just make sure you have some green on so you dont get pinched! LOL


  26. six-pack of kegs says:

    I did all of this, twice, before noon. awesome

  27. Disappointed Irishman says:

    You’re both wrong. Whiskey has nothing to do with religion, neither does being Irish. Anyone born on the island of Eire is Irish, be it Northern Ireland or The Republic, be they Protestant or Catholic. Bushmills is the oldest Irish Whiskey distillery on the landmass. It’s also the superior whiskey of the two mentioned.

    Also St Patrick wasn’t from Ireland and he wasn’t catholic.

    Anyone who isn’t from Ireland (ie: BORN HERE) and educated on the matters in discussion should consider the merit of their comment before hand. Save yourself the shame and the rest of us the ignorance.

  28. ththth says:

    Bushmills is Protestant Whiskey from Northern Ireland. Anyone ordering a shot of Bushmills on St. Patricks day is a complete dumbass and needs to be punched in the face

  29. Melanie says:

    Agree. Jameson FTW.