You may think little Timmy and little Suzy are oh-so-special when they walk around and talk and go pee-pee in their little potty toilet. But a Japanese researcher begs to differ:
Keio University scientists in Japan say they have found pigeons are able to discriminate video images of themselves, as well as paintings of certain artists.
The researchers said they found the birds’ video image discrimination ability to be higher than that of a 3-year-old human.
Pigeons are smarter than three-year-olds? No shit. I could’ve told you that without the $300,000 government grant. Have you ever spent any amount of time with a small child? It’s torture. They’re always covered in some sort of grime, or some sticky foodstuffs and they ask you endless, mind-numbing questions. “Why are leaves green?” “Where do airplanes come from?” “Why is daddy on top of that lady who isn’t Mommy?”
A pigeon, on the other hand, never asks you stupid questions, and while they are swimming with disease, they aren’t smearing it all over your neck and face because they’re tired of walking around the mall. And, most importantly, a pigeon never tells Mommy that you stopped off for a couple ice-cold Budweisers on the way home from the babysitter.
Just so we’re clear, here are a few other things smarter than a three-year-old:
Gas and charcoal grills
Digital picture frames
Teaneck, New Jersey
The ink cartridge in your printer
Moss (not Randy)
Randy Moss (but just barely)