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Zombie Lawn Sculpture Wants Brains, Mulch

If I ever have the privilege of owning a lawn, I’m not going to decorate it with the racist little jockeys, pink flamingos, or one of those stupid Travelocity garden gnomes. I’m going for this resin-based zombie lawn ornament instead. I can picture it now. I’d like to spend my weekends, shirtless and holding a frosty Budweiser while watering my wife’s hydrangea and daffodil flower beds as three or four of these zombies are crawling out of my lawn. This is exactly what the suburbs needs.

via neatorama

Other crap to look at:

New J Lo bikini pics (drunkenstepfather)
Eva Mendes takes photos (cameltap)
Dark Knight Trailer Spoof (gorillamask)
Wacky street performance (hornyoyster)

One Response to "Zombie Lawn Sculpture Wants Brains, Mulch"

  1. Pratik says:

    That would be awesome… until the douchebag leader of the “Neighborhood Gestapo Society” comes around and says that your zombie law ornaments are bringing down the value of your neighbors’ identical houses and are scaring all the identical children named Jason and Jennifer*.

    The one solution that I can think of which will make him go away AND weird him out so much that he won’t come back:

    After his little schpiel, slowly walk up to him, grab him by the balls hard and whisper “you sold me queer giraffes and I want my money back”** into his ear. If he persists, grab a little harder.

    * From George Carlin’s “Coast-to-Coast Emergency”
    ** From Gladiator